इंतज़ार

              इंतज़ार

इस जीवन में कब तक पतझड़ रहेगा ?

आप आओ बहार लाओ I

कब तक प्यासा कुएं के पास तडपेगा ?

आप आओ तृप्त कर जाओ I

नींद में सपनों को कौन बुनेगा ?

आप आओ सपनों का आगाज होगा I

कब तक सांसों को थामें रखूँगा ?

आप  आओ ब्यार बहेगा I

अब धड़कन रुकने लगी है

आप आओ आ भी जाओ II

Pay Rs. 50 only/-, Join me

Opinion expressed here are personal one. I am not liable for any things written here. 

Recently a trend has started in IISER Kolkata, club formation. All kind of clubs from arts, literature to badminton are sprouting up in short span of time. It is good that students are thinking to make their mundane life to joyous one. Co-curricular activities are important in college life. It helps to develop your personality and makes you better person. It takes out your anger and recharges with positive energy.

But a serious point is that you have to register to it by paying Rs. 50 per semester. Now if you are too gregarious and fun loving suppose like me you will join 6 clubs. So your purse is leaking around Rs. 300. This seems to be a meager amount for students as they are on fellowship of about Rs. 5000 approx. monthly. But ethically our institute is taking big chunk of stipend already through high mess rate where for good food per day you have to spend Rs. 100. Do not tell me that a single rice vegetable thali costs only Rs. 15. That thali is good enough for the security personals who line up for the food early on. How many of you eat vegetable thali normally? Have you seen the quality of rice that is being served? Institute has already poor transport facility and you should know how much it costs to maintain good quality of life in here. Now sometimes many things are not provided and we are told to for that you are provided the fellowship.

These clubs too have their own rules. The rules are so irritating. Like people not belonging to particular cannot participate in any event organized by the respective club. If are not part of the club and for one day you are free you want to enjoy the game as they will not issue rackets. You have to be member of the club. For playing in off day you have to be a member. These facilities should be provided by institute. Where it is written that you are given stipend and thus you will not be provided with any amenities. Your fellowship money should go for your extracurricular activities. I do not know why this type of attitude is.

Now you are club members so you all have all the rights to set the rules. No one is going to object. Isn't it funny? Let me elucidate it by simple example. Table Tennis club is organizing a tournament. Only members can play and also they have to form a group of up to 5 members of same year. Each has to pay the registration fees. What are they going to do with money? How many rackets and balls they are going to buy. They have also allotted time for when club members can only play and when rest can play. Buddies we are not professionals. We are students when we will get time, we play.

Regarding TT club I have personal anger too. I went to day on the election for secretary post. But as soon as they found I was there they fled. I waited for half an hour. No one turned up. Next day I found their names and new rules for TT club on notice board. Brothers, you could have told me I personally would have put forward your name. But your behavior is seriously in question. Yes, I only wanted to follow only two clubs one is class and other Laboratory. If such things are happening in all other clubs too then what is use of these clubs inside the hostel. They should move all their activities outside the campus. Everybody has equal right to use anything in the hostel which is provided by college.

My view is that you form a club but rules should be flexible. Everyone should get notices of all club meetings and also have knowledge about their decisions. All the financial liabilities should be borne out by the institute. Each institute have fund for that of they should use it for that. College is not only about development in education but all-round development. Each student can enjoy all the facilities. Do you know many of us have taken loans to wear out expenses? Anyway when we are moving to new distant hostel why should we join any club?


 

Pasting the Pieces: Following the mother Goose

Dear Sweetheart,

In these mundane days when I am far from you. I thought to tell you about my life. Life is ephemeral and we gain from it is experience. Experiences that are both sweet and sour, which are two faces of the same coin. It is pure joy to share my experiences with you. Last time when I was returning from Delhi to Chakradharpur, the train momentarily stopped at Mohammadganj, my birthplace. I stepped down at the station. Though I had forgotten how the station looked, but suddenly my whole childhood flashed. I was quite emotional. I touched the ground and promised to return again to relive my childhood. In this letter I will be recalling my early childhood days.

I remember that when I used to return from my village to Mohammadganj through Palamau Express in the night, there used to be no station. Just a guard room and station was deserted. We lived in a colony near hill side. My father was working for Govt. in building a dam over River Koel.



Time and date is not important. It was Thursday early morning when my mother gave birth to me in the kitchen of our house. It was quite a big day as lot of officers and lot of people had gathered in my house. A nurse (Daayi Maa) was called (it was big thing at that time). I was the third child of my family. My father distributed cold drinks and sweets. Someone declared I will be a big bureaucrat. Let's see how true it becomes.

Hill-Top Views

Like any child I also claim my childhood was a dream childhood. We lived in a small quarter which was surrounded by gardens. A hill was nearby just 100 meters away. Can you imagine my uncles used to carry me to top of the hill on their shoulders where I could see the nature very close by? I could see deer, monkeys and small natural waterfalls. It was a treat to watch. We used to collect different fruits and flowers. There was a guest house on the hill top. On special functions our father used to take us where we enjoyed parties. We were not allowed to go out after the evening as the place was infamous for wolves and lions. Once my father and his friend were going in the dark, when they saw glowing eyes. They sparked the torch on it; it was lion that fled away. Probably he was not hungry.

The Holy Cow

We had a cow that my mother took good care of. She had bad temper and did not allow anyone to go near her. Every time I went near it, she would show her anger. We loved her calves. It was quite thrilling to watch the cow giving birth to a calf. Many people used to come. It was thought to be auspicious. You cannot drink milk for few days after the birth of a calf. In my childhood I did not like drinking milk. Its smell was too bad for my nose and taste was too bad for my tongue. But my mother would find ways to oblige me to drink it. My mother used to worship her everyday and provided her all the food every day.

The conviviums

Behind our house we had a huge guava tree which bore red pulped guavas. There was also Mango and Baer tree. It was quite vegetated area often we would see snakes near the hand-pump. During childhood, me and my brother had friends with the children of our neighbor namely Badal and Chandan. We with our sisters organized picnics. We were gifted small utensils for cooking by one man whom we used to call Manager Chacha. He had also taught us how to make beautiful flowers and designs using Crêpe paper. We used to gather wood and vegetable from our gardens and cooked it near the Baer tree. We used to simply relish that.

The TV Show

We were not rich people but I never had dearth of anything. People around me were so friendly. I used to think my father provides us the best quality of food and toys. I did not like toys. My big brother used to like Tobu Cycle. I never thought life had any sorrow: just happiness. In that time my father brought a TV and VCR from Calcutta. It was the time when Doordarshan had started airing Ramayana. Nobody in nearby had television, it was quite a big thing then. On Sundays everybody used to bath themselves before 9 am and get ready. People from nearby villages also used to come. TV was placed in central hall and the whole hall and Verandah used to fill up. People used to watch through window. Can you imagine the scene where women carrying babies used to peep through the window for an hour to watch it? When program was aired everybody used to remain calm and were quite emotionally attached to it. I could recall them singing the hymns and songs with television stars. It was unbelievable to see tears rolling from their eyes at scenes like abduction of Sita. After the show there used to be discussions in small groups and my mother used to serve them tea. People used to discuss about the characters. At that time Arun Govil was treated as god. As he would appear on television people used to bow to him and utter "Jai Shree Ram".

Dancing on tunes

I was quite an adamant child who used to get anger very quickly. Then my mother had hard times to soothe me. My mother is very caring and courageous. When I was ill, my mother alone would carry me to hospitals in Dehri-On-Son via train. She always took care of me. My sisters also adored me. I gave them hard times with my tantrums, spoiled their things. We had cable sort of connection. The cable was monitored from our home. For fun we used to switch it off and acted we had not done anything. At that time the cable operator used to telecast films at particular time. Suppose we had class in the morning and returned home in afternoon and if a film was being aired we used bunk the class and watch the movie. He used to air two films namely Sholay and Shahenshah. I think he had aired these films more than 25 times. We had remembered all the dialogues. Just imagine me dancing on the songs and delivering the dialogues of Amitabh Bachchan (as a child).

The Radio

At that time cricket had made so much impact. All India radio was the sole channel and we used to listen to it, mainly news. I was too amazed to think how does sound comes from that small box. In this respect let me tell you my mother's story. In her childhood she was very much fascinated by two things radio and train. When my nana brought radio, she was quite amazed to hear the voice coming out of it. She would sit down in front of it and try to find out how a man can sit inside it and deliver music for such long time. I will tell about the train later.
The Driver

There was place nearby called Bhim Chulha where the legend says that Bhim cooked food before going to kill Bakasura who tormented the village Ekachakra. My mother used to go there for worship. I cannot remember that place but my mother used to tell it had huge cooking pot made up of rock. My father was working for the building of dam on river Koel. I was quite fascinated to see the large cranes. The drivers would carry me with them and I used to see them working. My favorite toy was an old Jeep lying dead in front of our house. I would sit down on the driver's seat and imagine driving it for hours. My sisters and friends also sat beside me. We used to make sound of horn and vehicle by ourselves. While playing when our tooth broke, we used to dig earth and put it inside as we were told out of it a tree will grow out.

The Pets

Like my ancestors were fond of Horses, our parents too loved animals. My mother used to keep water in small old utensils for birds, fed the dogs and the crows. We also had the same passion. We used to have parrot which could utter "Siya Ram". It loved chillies and guavas. We were also fond of guinea pigs and used to have a lot of them. We would play with them for hours. It was our duty to feed them grass. We used to grow grass and collect water for them. We also had a rabbit. All of us loved to play with it. But when a cat used to kill them we would become too sad and hated the cats.

The Bahrupiyas

I was quite shy. I didn't used to come out in front of guests. If my head was shaved for religious ceremony, I would not come out of the home for days, until some hair used to grow out. At that time there was a tradition of Bahrupiya (People disguised in different make ups). They would come in our colonies. I would think them as real and get scared and used to lock myself in my home until they had gone. They used to disguise as Lord Shiva, Daku or English Man. I was scared as people used to tell they will abduct me. We used to collect our hair after shaving as in exchange we used to get Son papdi. Barter system still existing there. We used to get lots of things in exchange of old clothes and utensils.

The Underground River

Once our family went to Prayag Raj (Banaras) during khumbh. I remember walking on some tin sheet when someone told us that we were walking on river Saraswati, the embedded river. We took dips in the river. We used to come to Patna while going to our village. Once we went to Circus, like any child I was quite amazed to see the clowns and terrified to hear the roar of the tiger. My heart pounded when I saw them performing the acrobatic skills. I dreaded to see them hanging above with single hand and swinging from one corner to another. We tasted our first ice-cream there. My mother did not like it. She said it was not eatable. Our clothes were brought from small shops at Hathwa market. Once when we went for shopping, I and my small sister got lost. We started searching for our parents from store to store. We were about to cry, when I saw them shopping.
The Early Education

In small ceremony I think during Saraswati Puja I was given the chalk to write "अ", then "क". We used to study in a small class where children of all age would study together guided by a teacher. The school ran on chalk and board donated by my father. My father had also arranged private teacher to teach us counting mathematical table (pahada).He was a tough one and we got severe beating from him from wooden scales. My mother and grandmother would tell us stories from Ramayana and Mahabharata. I liked the story of Aruni (the boy who lay down in the field whole night so that the land of his master was not enundated with water) , Sudama (who did not share his food with Shree Krishna, still lord helped him later )and Gaja & Grah (Gaja was an elephant who was very loyal devotee of Lord Krishna whose leg was caught by Grah, the crocodile and called the lord for help. )

The Extras

We used to play a lot of games like Hide and seek. There were lots of places to hide. But my favorite place to hide was a room near the verandah. We also used to play with marbles, pitto(where you have to aim at some small pieces kept a distance with ball and arrange it without the ball beating you ), gili-danda and lali-danda. I was not good at games. I liked roaming in jungles and loved gardening. We used to grow large sized marigold. We even grew vegetables like brinjal, potato and ground nut. I used to love eating raw ground nuts. The most fascinating part was that I loved the smell of the first drops of rain falling on the ground. We loved to collect ice falling with the rain, even ate it several times. When there was rain with the daylight on we used to say that "somewhere a marriage of fox was going on". The rainbows that would appear after rain would attract me and I would inquire where they were being formed.

The Journey Begins

Once an accident occurred while we were playing Lali-danda (where we have to hit a piece of small crafted wood with a stick), the wood hit my brother's eyes. It was bleeding profusely. He was taken to Japla (nearby town) for treatment. After that we stopped playing and it was decided that whole family would move to Patna for our schooling.

Like any child I did not have maturity to remember all the events. These events might be common day to day life experiences but joy of a child is unique. You always want to be a child to get away from all tensions. Hope you liked my part of the story. Hope to hear from you. 


With love 
Priyadarshi




P.S. Mohammadganj has now been infected by the naxalites. The dam is working. Government had spent crores of rupees on building that dam. Cranes and heavy machines bought are decaying there. Now the place has become deserted. Nobody want to go there. All the charm is gone. 

Aha! so you have got a movie of my mood

Some Movies you never forget.Movies define mood.
Watch them, Feel them, live them and define the moment.
My choices are:

1. When you want  to change your society: Do Aankhen Barah Haanth.

2. When you want to know what to know what is family: Little Miss Sunshine

3. When you want to fight: Fight Club

4. When you miss someone: A Walk to remember

5. When you miss your friends: 3 Idiots

6. When you have fight with your friends: Dil Chahta Hai

7. When you do not want to sit till the end(its too good that you cannot leave): The Shawshank Redemption

8. When you want laughter at each scene: Andaz Apna Apna

9. When you want to enjoy with your family: Hum Aapke Hain Kaun

10. When you want to be see a classic: The Godfather 

11. When you want to be a superhero: The Dark knight

12. When you want to a part of epic: The Lord of the Rings

13. When you Love someone: Serendipity

14. When you hate someone(I can not watch it full): Tere Naam

15. When you want to be someone: Amitabh in Chupke Chupke

16. When you want to die: DasVidaniyan

17. When you want to stop watching War Movies: Saving Private Ryan

18. When you want to live in deserted place: Cast Away/ The Terminal

19. When you want to be a child: Forest Gump

20. When you want to fulfill your wishes: Iqbal

21. When you want to live in a game like: Resident Evil

22. When you want to live for a day:  If Only

23. When you want to to be a part of perfect conspiracy: The Illusionist

24. When you want to take rebirth: Karz

25. When you want patriotism: Schindler's List

26. When you are at your lowest ebb: Kill Bill

27. When you know the suspects: The Usual Suspects

28 When you want to dance:Junglee

29. When you want to sing: Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge

30. When you feel you can understand the movies: Momento

31. When you want not to forget your love: The Notebook

32. When you want the  revenge: The Prestige

33. When you want to meet alien: ET

34. When you want to remember someone: The Titanic

35. When you want to get animated : Up

36. When you say love is simple yet precious(it can happen to anybody): Amelie

37. When you want to fight for galaxy: Star Wars

38. When you want to see someone die for you: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

39. When you want to see cricket doing something good: Lagaan

40. When you to inspire someone: Taare Zameen Per

41. When you want to see how music binds you: August Rush


42. When you want to savior of the planet: Matrix

43. When you want to loose your memory: Bourne Series


44. When you want know how important you are: It's a wonderful life

45. When you want to amend something: Atonement

Tweet Poem #2

Moonlight fell on

your twinkling eyes,

felt the caress,

at your one glance.

sea of emotions broke loose,

drowning me,

Baby give me one chance!!

                                                 Image : Priyadarshi

Paying a Tribute..

     Didi  (         - 12 March 2005)

To Dearest  Didi,

Never thought that we would have to live without you. I was a jerk who never understood your love and affection. I was always thinking about myself and pressing my point of views. You had such a sweet tender heart. I always denied you my love. Life was not a bed of roses for you but you kept smiling everytime. Always thought of us ahead of yourself.

You were such a hard worker. You never let us sleep empty stomach and never thought of your studies but always encouraged us to pursue our dreams and goals. I am and will be a guiding light for many but you were mine. I never cared about you and  still you always showered your Love. You taught me about true love. I never promised you about taking care of you. I wish you were always with me and I could have shown you my Love towards you.

May your soul rest in peace.

Will Always remain
Your incompetent brother.
 
                                               

Was it fair to banish Shakuntala?

Shakuntala was the central character of "Abhigyan Shakuntalum" by great poet Kalidas. She was the daughter of Apsara Menaka and great sage Vishwamitra. Menaka was sent to distract Vishwamitra from meditation by Lord Indra. Menaka left Shakuntala in the forest and returned to heaven. Sage Kanva found her in midst of Shakun birds and named her Shakuntala. Shakuntala was brought up in forest. One day king Dushyant who had come to jungle for hunting and saw Shakuntala. He was lost in lust of the beauty of Shakuntala. He married Shakuntala through Gandharva system of marriage. He left Shakuntala and returned to his kingdom, gifting his royal ring to her and promising  her to take as his wife.

One day Sage Durvasa arrived at Kanva's hermitage in absence of Kanva and asked services of Shakuntala. Shakuntala lost in day dream of her beloved, failed to respond to serve him. Angered sage cursed her that he would forget her.

On her way to meet her husband, she lost her ring. The king failed to recognize her and did not accept her as his wife. She had to return to forest. In forest she gave birth to Bharat. One day when king Dushyant was returning to his kingdom after a war, he saw Bharat playing with Lion cub(counting its teeth). Fascinated to see boy's braveness, he went to find her parents. Knowing that Bharat was his son, he accepted Shakuntala as his wife and brought them back to his kingdom.

I am not here to tell you this story. But discuss with you about the failures of the patriarchal nature of Indian society. You probably know that our Indus valley society was matriarchal where society was headed by women. We have known about the great women scholars of that era like Lopamudra. Slowly as the civilization died down, gradually our society decayed also. Soon all the powers were with men, women became their mere puppets. The women lost their supreme position and were confined within the walls of their home.

This story is significant in present time. Our society is male dominated and females are restricted within household chores. Females are treated as males' property. They are thought to be baby making machines. They are tethered to male for all work. I was going through an article in Sunday Times I was moved where girls returning from school were searching dustbin for left over fruits. In poor family mothers treat their son as royal prince and give them all good care and food but girl child is treated as servants. As when the son grows up he is going to take care of her but girl will be married to other family and she has no liability on them. This habit of eating leftover food is not limited to poor family in upper class too. Mothers have habit of eating leftovers from fathers, showing their love. Have you ever heard about the opposite. Do the fathers never love them?

Returning back to the story of Shakuntala, Shakuntala's example is a classic case of manhandling by the men dominated society. King Dushyant being in her lust married her through nontraditional marriage. But when he returned to his palace he realized his mistake. How could a king marry the daughter of hermit? This was against the society. What would his subjects think when they would be aware of his marriage? This threw a question mark on the propriety of marriage. If a male wanted he could marry nontraditionally and later he could not undertake his actions.

Sage Durvasa represented the thinking of male dominated society. Females must be engaged in the household works and should not think beyond that. If she thought beyond that, then that was offense, hence punishable. But why Dushyant was not punished? This male dominated society took its pride in keeping females at the bay. They were the thinkers; they had the right to make laws governing everyone. No female representation was required. The ring symbolized the freedom she had inside her house but as soon as she came out, she lost her freedom.

Then why did Dushyant accepted her back? Each king had dream that his son would be strong who could rule his kingdom after him. Bharat was brave and strong and he needed an heir. He could foresee Bharat as the perfect one who could succeed him, he could see a great king in the making. Then the society did not question him. He was accepted as heir to the throne and on his name our country was named Bharat. No one was sympathizing with Shakuntala. Had she no power to punish him? Again the mother was recognized due to her son.


This is the time to rethink the structure of our present society and bring back our old glory. Women should be given their proper place. They should be answerable to all the liabilities of the society. Only making laws for women reservations won't work until you start resurrecting your own house. Give them the freedom and chance to perform. Who knows they can outperform you? Could you not feel what would be going inside Shakuntala's mind in court of King Dushyant who was showing no respect to Shakuntala? She had no power to express her concerns.

Lost in the Past

        दुःख

आसुओं के अथाह सागर में ,

गोते खाता यह जीवन l

कष्ट दुख रुदन को

देखकर रोता मेरा मन l

यहाँ गोलियां, वहां बम

क्या हो किसको किस क्षण l

निर्मम निर्दय निरुद्वेग

सबकुछ सहता यह जीवन l

अपने अपने में खोया मानव

किसको क्या हो जाने कौन ?

कौन पार  लगाएगा इसमें

तिनका का सहारा भी कोई देता न  l

आसुओं के अथाह सागर में ,

गोते खाता यह जीवन l

This poem I wrote on 25 March 1999. After that I had not written any poems..as when I wrote a poem for my then Bhavan magazine..Our dear Hindi teacher told..that was a crap. I left writing poems.. But someday I will again start writing poems..

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