Love & Devotion

In love you expect that you will be requited.

Whereas in Devotion you do unselfish, altruistic acts without any lust, better to say any expectation of the result.

That is why

"Love is rare whereas Devotion is the rarest."

Follow devotion for true salvation to attain nirvana.

It consists of all yoga and tapa.

थोड़े से हम तुम

थोडा सा प्यार 
थोडा सा तकरार I


थोडा सा इंकार
थोडा सा इकरार I


थोड़ी सी हंसी
थोडा सा ख़ुशी I


थोडा सा मनाना
थोडा सा शर्मना I


थोडा सा चेहरा
थोडा सा चाँद जैसा I


थोड़ी सी नरमी
थोड़ी सी गर्मी I


थोड़ी सी ख़ामोशी
थोड़ी सी मदहोशी I


थोड़ी सी नफरत
थोड़ी सी शरारत I


थोडा सा हुस्न
थोडा सा गुरुर I


थोडा सा सुरूर
थोडा सा मजबूर I 

थोडा सा एतवार  
थोडा सा इंतजार  I


थोड़ी सी लियाकत
थोड़ी सी लिफाफत I


थोडा सा गुस्सा
थोडा सा आँखों से तार I  

थोडा सी मुस्कराहट  
थोड़ी सी खुबसूरत I


थोडा सी सराफत
थोड़ी सी नजाकत I 

थोडा सा गाना 
थोडा सा गुदगुदाना I



थोडा सा गलों को पिचकाना 
थोड़ी  सी  ओठों की लालिमा I

थोड़ी सी चांदनी
थोड़ी सा अँधेरा I

थोड़े से दूर 
थोड़े से पास I

थोडा से तुम
थोड़े से हम II

वो चेहरा किसका है ?

वो  चेहरा  किसका है ?

सांसो को मत थामो
आज लहू बनके उतरेगा I
सच्चाई जो भी हो
आज कागज पे उतरेगा I

तुम इतनी कठोर हो जानम
शीशा बना लिया है I
वोह टूट न जाये जालिम
अपना दिल ढाल दिया है I

तुम इतनी मदहोश क्यूँ हो
चाँद भी खो जाता है I
आज चांदनी भले  हीं हो
कल अमावस्या भी आता है I

हमें ना समझना गैरों सा
की तुम हमें भूल जायोगे I
बेदर्द जब याद आएगी
छुप छुप के रोया करोगे I

हर रोज आईना बदल लेने से
चेहरा थोड़े हीं बदल जाता है I
सीने में जो मुखड़ा आया कल
दिल में वही समां जाता है I

चले तुम दूर मझधार में
की तूफ़ान ना आएगा I
बना लेते हमें पतवार 
हवा का रुख बदल जायेगा I

बहुत प्यार करता हूँ सितमगर
पता है ना I
अब जाना है जहाँ जाओ
लौट आना है ना I

कसक रहेगी मन में
तुमपे क्यूँ कोई मरता हूँ  ?
क्या तुमने कभी देखा नहीं
वो  चेहरा  किसका है ?

Irony of a Rainbow

Have you looked at a rainbow!

Rain has stopped and there is water droplets spread in the atmosphere and when the sunlight falls on these droplets gives a dazzling rainbow- bow made of seven colors(VIBGYOR).

How charming it is!! – Uber cool.

It spreads smiles on our faces.

Look at it closely. It looks like smiley of sadness. Isn't it? Have you noticed it earlier? Now this gives a jeer feeling.

A thing of beauty which is itself a symbol of sadness spreads smiles all over us.

This is ultimate truth of life. We spread hatred and try to gain happiness from it. We run after material world in lieu of this aesthetic world.

In my childhood I tried to run after to rainbows to touch it, to play with it. More I ran further it went. Only to know nobody can ever touch it. It is like the materialistic world. The more we earn, we want more and more. Never get satisfied. In meantime we leave the joy of watching it standing. Life is wonderful such we should enjoy the moments.

Do not run after these rainbows.They  give us elusive hopes. You will never get it. Why are you spending your life finding someone and something which never exists? Sometimes though these hopes keeps us burning and we forget the things around us.But time will come when you will feel unsatisfied what I have missed.

Feel the freshness the rain has spread and forget all the bad feelings. Smile at each moment.

Let's enjoy life.


                                    Picture Coutesy: Kane     

Life is a priceless gift.

Life is a priceless gift. How often we misuse this gift? We hate each other. We divide each other according to money, caste. We spread the hatred among each other, look down each other, quell each other- a narcissistic way of living. It leads to mistrust, communication gap and stop believing on each other. Subsequently we start to distrust ourselves. Friends become enemies who will be always envious. We do not know the difference between right and wrong. Each step is hard to take. Thus create a elusive world and become a slave of it.

Do you want to live your life as a puppet. First of all trust yourself. No body is going to force you. Believe in yourself. Try to be happy. Spread the smile. Life is beautiful. Each moment is priceless. Money can not buy you friends who will take care of you and who will make you laugh at bad jokes. Take bold steps. Be out of the rudimentary world. Do not bind yourself with money and look down upon others.

Which should be qualities of your friends? Absolutely nothing - just believe. Think friendship  as barter system of  smile where each smile counts. If you have done something to your friend, do not expect them to return it in any quantity. You should try to always help him more. Trust your friends.  Do not encourage them to do wrong. Make less but most awesome friends who understand you. Never try to show them your unhappiness but share their needs. Spread love and see how happy you become.

How to generate more happiness? Should we do more funny things? Should we encourage in bashing one friend in front of other to make more happiness? Always have the positive attitude. Be with them, share their passion. Encourage them in their pursuit. Never let him fee as if he is alone. If someone loves you for meagre qualities and want to be with you in every step that means you have a true friend. This must not mean gossiping all the time. find out common things you like. Treat your family as friends share with them your happiness and always have their trust. Time may come your friends will become deceptive. Give them time, they will again regroup as a pillar.

Positive living means your mind should be clear about your goals, about your needs. Be a pessimist every time. Do not suppress others needs too. This world is not a gory competition, where you have to evolve as a champion. Be a team member with all. Spreading small happiness is more important than surge of happiness. You are not living in a world to be happy on some particular day. Make your each day joyous.

Life is not about living in future. Live on to your duties each day. See how happy you feel as you go to sleep.

feel the walk in the rain.
feel the air you breathe.
feel the food you eat.
feel the warmth of your friends.
feel the love you have generated.

Hope I made you smile.

दूर खड़े हो की

दूर खड़े हो की

साहिल उस पार जाना है I

इस जहाँ में तुम क्या

खुदा को भूल जाना है I

जालिम उन आँखों का क्या  दोष

जिसमे खुदा का नूर दिखता था I

उनकी बातों में क्या  मोती की लड़ी थी

जिसपे यह दिल मचलता था I

तुम्हारी एक मुस्क्कुराहत पर

जान निशार करता है I

तुम आयोगी एक दिन क्यूंकि

नदिया को सागर में मिलना है I

Everlasting Sojourn

"Ssshhh!! Keep quite. I can not flutter my wings too fast. My parents will wake up"

My nest is on the middle of a banyan tree. From where I used to watch the top of giant pillars from where time to time white fumes blew. I wish to fly like my mama did. I wished to glide like the kites and birds in 'V'.

My dream to fly came true yesterday. It was the moment I will not forget in my life. My other two siblings had flown down, then up, nicely. I was excited but nervous. I went to the edge of the nest and closed my eyes and started to flutter my wings. My mother told me to stop fluttering and keep my eyes open. Ooops! She gave me a gentle kick and I was falling down. I could hear everybody telling me to start waving my wings but I was confused. I was about to touch the ground with all my strength I started fluttering and off I was gliding. Flew up and down then up again. Everybody joined me and we had our first flight together. I learnt to catch worms from the soil. I was elated to catch my first raw food.

"I wished to fly straight towards the city. My mother blocked my way and ordered us to fly with her. We went to a nearby farm where we played for the whole day."

"I longed to fly towards tall buildings. That is why I woke up early and am flying towards my dream destination. "

I could see a faint light coming from the top of the giant towers.

At a distance a bird was also flying towards the city.

It was a fellow sparrow. I flew faster.

"Hey lady! Are you also running from your parents to see the city?"

"What?"

"Actually I have learnt flying yesterday and am flying away from my nest to see those giant pillars. I used to see them from my nest."

She chuckled. "Has your mother not warned you to go that side?"

"Yes! She has warned me never to go that side and that side was hell. I just want to see once. May be it's not a hell for me."

"You are just a brat. You should listen to your mother and should not go there alone."

"Well! I am not alone. You are also flying in that direction. Am I wrong? "

"No, first of all I am not a toddler like you. I am 3 months older than you. Practically I do not have a family and I am flying away for a different reason."

"What happened to your family? You leave them to go to tall buildings daily."

"Seriously, you do not want to know."

"No, you are first person I have talked beyond my family. I really want to know." I was tiring down.

"Sun is rising and we were almost at the outskirts of the city. May be we could sit down on these wires. I wanted to enjoy the rays coming between the giant buildings." Indicating the wires which ran parallel to the way we were flying.

As I was about to touch them, she pushed me away with all her power.

Cried," No it is not safe. "

I was almost tumbling.

"You want to know how my father died. He was electrocuted by these wires. These are dangerous."

"Sorry, I was just feeling tired."

"Let us sit on a perch." She pointed towards the nearby tree with her wings.

We watched the most awesome sunrise. First sunrays touched the giant pillars which were cylindrical shaped. The white fumes coming out gave a glittering fog type feeling. On the other side, the rays touched the bottom of the tall buildings. The glass covering of the buildings gave glossy effect.

"Enough, Let us fly. You have ruined my plans. Do not ruin my day."

We flew first above the small huts then past the medium sized bricked houses. We neared the roads. It was dusty one. Flying in cold breeze energized me. We were near a hut. I could see some other sparrows already there. They were picking grains spread on the floor. She directed me to fly down the corner.

We waited the corner to empty then started to engulf the grain.

"Be fast. Just swallow the grain."

She had not finished as if a fat sparrow that had a scar beneath his left eye, flew down and tried to flee us.

"Why did you come back here? I had told you this was my area and outsiders should not trespass it."

She flew to the other corner and started picking the seeds again. I followed her.

He tried to attack me with the claw. She came in my defence and directed me to fly. We flew and flew.

As I neared the tall cylindrical giants, I saw lots of debris. Black soil, smoggy environment, all my elation was gone. There was no tree surrounding it.

"This is the crap you dreamt to see. My father used to tell us about how beautiful this place was three years back. The entire place has gone junk. All the greenery has gone. Just the dust remains. Black dust"

I flew down and stretched to drink water from the drain.

"Stop, you are such a novice. Don't you see from where water is flowing down? Smell it."

Yesterday when I drank water from the spring, there was no smell. But today it smelt pungent.

"Poisonous, I drank it for once. Want to see what happened?"

She flapped up her wings for once.

I could see that her inner wings had started moulding.

"They have polluted the water, air and soil. These humans are becoming crazier day by day."

"Fly with me I will show you water." We flew back towards the huts.

I could see a tap from where drop by drop water was percolating to a canister. Tens of canisters followed it. Few human were sitting ideal surrounding it and buzzing.

"They have dried the water too. Do not worry there is enough water for us. Just go inside the canister and fill your beak and fly away. Do not stay there for a long time."

At first I was apprehensive. She showed me once. I followed and did this thrice. It was thrilling.

We flew past the road. She stopped in front of a medium sized building. One human was opening the gate. She told me to sit in front of a tree. The human, one by one, brought cages full of birds. Put them over one another. All birds looked gloomed and were fluttering inside and making a lot of noise. I was terrified.

"See, these humans have not only polluted but captured us and kept in this apiary."

"Captured us, for what?"

"Amusement, they even kill other birds and eat them. They do not kill us as we are not large. They paint us and sell us to other humans as if we are some antique birds captured from far away regions."

"What happens then?"

"They keep us in cages in their homes. They give us to eat and drink. They take our freedom."

"Do they die there?"

"Yes, but sometimes, if lucky, they can escape, especially when they discover that they are not the real ones. It is hard to survive then too as until then they loose all their power to fly. They loose their sense of direction. They will die of starvation."

"Can you see the cage in the left of the four brown ones?"

"Yes."

"They are my siblings and my mother. Humans caught those ten days back. I come daily to see them. I do not go near to them. I do not want to see them lamenting. I am helpless. " she sobbed.

"How did this happen?" I was getting anxious.

She did not reply.

We sat there for an hour, watching them fed by the human. I started hating humans. They were cruel.

We flew past the small and big houses and over the verdant suffused allaround. She was calm and was busy in some deep thinking. I thought it was better not to disturb her. We flew past the fields, into the woods. She sat on a perch.

"On that day we were all happily flying together from our nest. We were gliding in 'V', competing with each other. We saw the grains lying beneath this tree. They flew fast leaving me behind. I was gliding back and I saw an insect on the fruit. I flew towards it without telling them. I had almost finished swallowing it I heard their hue and cry. I flew towards them only to find them trapped in a net. I became numb. I wanted to join them. We tried to tear the net but all was vain. A human hiding behind the bushes came running and put them all in a cage and went. I was helpless. I could not do anything but follow them. Since then I just watch them there and pray for their freedom."

I was petrified. I had never imagined even in my dreams that these things happen. She sobbed again. We sat there for hours. She told me about how happy they were together. How they had escaped from the paw of a cat. She told me how bravely his brothers fought with that fat sparrow (the scar was the proof). How beautiful the life was.

The sun was about to set when we flew again.

Suddenly she flew past me and blocked my way and sun. She flapped her wings fast to a stand still.

"Stop following me. Go towards your home. Be safe there and do not return to the city. Today I was flying to another direction that's why I started early. You intervened and reminded me how juvenile we were."

"But "

"No, now I will return to my nest and fly to my destination tomorrow, far away from here, never to return to this place."

I was helpless. She directed me to my home. I meekly followed the order. I kept looking back, she might turn back. I saw a friend in her who was vanishing into the sun, vanishing along with the fading sun.

Since then I am waiting to see her again.


Author's Commentry: Ode to "God of Small Things" for inspiring me to write this one. Thanks to Nishant kumar for editing. Most of my stories are inspired from the Novels have read(all unfinished). I wrote "I am the Messenger" when I read "My name is Red". Similarly "She came she saw she conquered" and "This is it" from "The Fountainhead","Shree Mad Bhagwat Geeta" respectively. All the novels have been yet to be finished. Reading these books and the Geeta after certain part has led to me think and interpret the stories in my own way. This is what we also learn in research. We learn few things and we apply them in our own way. May be these stories have no realation or as par to novels but they are just my creations. They may all have dual meaning/purpose. It upon the reader how is he taking.

A Vignette

Everybody had cautioned me that you should not surf in rough sea but I was a flippant. The waves were untamed. Braggart like me wanted the thrill. I could handle this kind of weather.

Soon I was meandering between the waves. small wave, large wave.

I had started the same thrill had in last few years. I felt that I was a masochist each time those large waves approached me. These were meant to alleviate my pain.

The more I was getting fond off, the lesser I was becoming watchful. All was becoming just another wake. small wave, large wave.

I was too much engrossed in my ride and did not cared what was coming next. All of a sudden a very large and furious wave was just in front of me. It was going to engulf me. It might be the elixir I wished I always dreamt.large wave.

I did not close my eyes and took the biggest breathe of my life. It was a precarious situation. The furious one turned me upside down; I went off board.

No, another large wave followed it and pushed me deep down. large wave.

Underneath everything was deep blue. I could not see anything deep down. Few feet from me my surfboard was drowning. I tried to topple as I did not know to swim. A sweet headache started.I could see big bubbles from my nose going towards the surface time to time. Each one getting larger as it went higher.

The surface was far away. I tried to swim, flinching. The more I tried to move upward, pressure kicked me down, A free fall.

As each second passed my headache was getting stronger. Smothering me.

Nausea had set up. Eyes were popping out. A toddler was thumping over my stomach. My mouth had swollen out. Could not hold my breathe any longer. Everything was getting fainter. Could not feel my limbs. My head was going to burst out.


Was this the enigma I wanted to feel?

At this moment I could do the best was to Believe.

I have a dream

I have a dream Today.
                         - Martin Luther King Jr

A good motivator will always suggest you that you shall write your dreams and read it quite often as it will be your guiding light. May be I have never achieved something big as I have never dreamt about it. I always believe in hard work and try to achieve everything though my diligence. From sometime some events have shocked me and have waked me rather have made me to think. Just not think but ratiocinate positive.

I am like a mugwump about my future. I do not fear about my future as I believe that I am having the best education and putting my best effort to garner the knowledge and I do not think it was desultory. Situation is like I am at a TV game show where the host give you option to choose a door from three. My problem is that I want to choose the door after knowing what best valued thing is for me. I know in this competitive world I have limited choice. I have to choose the door and my fate (Luck) will do the rest. It is not true that I want to the richest person in the world. I wish to be boy who has put his sock on Christmas Night that Santa gives me the best gift that I can relish until next time and again Santa gives me the best one. It may be a dream but I never wanting to wake up.

Wake up Priya. Think. No, give me the answer. Everyone is eagerly waiting for it. 

Let me close my eye.

Do you saw darkness?

No, it just a ray of light, trying to touch the new tender leaf. A distinct ray of hope. Strong hope. Whatever I do I will do the best. Do I saw money also?

I have few dreams may be vague one but they are not whiff of what others are thinking. I wish to be the best innovator. I am good in thinking and planning. It is not that I want to revolutionize the research world. I see myself as one of the best scientist in the world in 10 years.

Ten years!! Are you mad? In the meantime if you do some job, do you have thought what will be you salary? You have a lower middle class family should always think about your family.

Will you stop?

Yes, I want to achieve step by step. I must be more innovative in my fifth year. If everything is right then I have two research papers by the end of this year. So I can take risk and plan my fifth year project as I wish. I have to do best in GRE and NET. 

Focus Priya.

What is your preparation? Will your mother allow going to foreign university for atleast FIVE years? Sometimes when woke up you feel anxious. You feel something is choking you. What about it?

Yes, I am doing fine. I am preparing slow but it is on the right directions. Recent incidents have put a curb on all.

I am fully focussed now. I am curtailing my feelings and giving sacrifices. I am ready to detach all.

My parents never question my decisions. I hope they will be with me.

True, emotionally presently at my ebb. I do not like attitude of my institute and friends. I feel all are against me. They impose rules and they are the ones who break for their benefit. I am always on the wrong side. Professors will tell that you should concentrate on your preparation for GRE. Then they are the ones who will scold you for bad marks. Sometime I do not understand what they want to say. I do not want to comment on the system and friends. Just add-on they have not been generous on me. I do not regret. I had never tried to run after them too.

Don't you want to run for money?

Yes, why not. But I still feel that I can make out money in this field.

Don't you have other option?

Yes, my childhood dream has been to be an IAS officer. Thanks to my mother who always reminds me about the epithets an IAS officer gets. I have good general knowledge. I love chemistry and I loved geography in my school.

I feel I can crack it. I am slowly preparing for it too.

Is it OK? Can you handle the pressure?

Why not? I want to believe in myself. I do not want to live in exaggerated world. I have to set my priorities now. First of all I have to prepare for GRE.

Muse Barron's Word List.

One final question: Where do you see yourself after five years?

I am working in established lab in field of Cancer. I am on verge of making a discovery. Currently I am thinking about my fifth year project presentation. I am quite confident about it.

Remember I had dreamt in my second that I will be working in field of cancer in my fifth year. I am going to work in this field. Dreams come true.

Dream Dream Dream

Quotes

Only a diamond can cut a diamond.
Nothing is priceless unless you own it.

Nuance Serie A

I enjoy observing subtle things. They fascinate me a lot. This series is dedicated to my observations, mainly posted on Facebook.

 

A nuance: When students come from home they look healthy and mess people look they had hardly any muscle but as the days goes by mess people become healthy and students become pale.

Posted on fb on 13^th April 2010

 

Nuance II: When you ,move near the waterbodies of Mumbai even Delhi you have noisome odor but in Bengal you do not get it..thanks to Pisciculture. In mumbai they use waterbodies as dumping ground.

Posted on fb on 14^th April 2010

 

Nuance III-"Badam amaar theke nao kaino ki aami guru baki sab chela(buy peanuts from me as I am the Teacher rest are my copy cats)"- heard a hawker telling slowly. Another strategy of selling stuffs at our own super market @ locals

Posted on fb on 18^th April 2010

Nuance IV: My WMP and Itunes have access to same music folder. When I play on shuffle mode they they play different songs i.e. they have play songs more the songs which have been played earlier ...They are incoherent ....they have different algorithm and but play more the previously played songs..which means they play different songs each time..

Posted on fb on 30^th April 2010

RT by Debayan Ghosh 

If their Algorithm is different, and they both factor in users' preference (frequency of track played earlier), they still might have a lot of other factors which cause the divergence in track choices. But unless you have a huge library and like to listen to random tracks (typical users have few favourites) all the time, the twain should pick the same tracks at times. Unless of course, they cannot use the same track concurrently, which I know is not the case.

Nuance V: As a child I often thought why was the train moving in opposite direction was faster than my train?

Posted on fb on 6^th may 2010